Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Art // Sketch Fest 58

Here are all my ACEOs from the last Sketch Fest! Sketch Fest is a monthly event where artists suggest prompts and you create artworks for ones that inspire you. It's so much fun!

 "Sailor Mars" from Sailor Moon!
 "Missing Thee" - used a reference of myself, was really personal. 

 "Sister Mine" - really butchered the resemblances but I sent this drawing of us to my sissy! :)

 My first oil pastels drawing! Not the best but I'm so excited to learn this new medium!

 "To Love is to Lose" - I am so so happy with this one! It's really inspired by my MC, and was really personal. I almost wanted to keep it myself but I had a trade request and took it! So this baby went to Estonia! My first overseas artwork! :)

"Winter Cardinal" - I fixed this one after the painting so the center of the bird isn't so wonky now. haha I'm getting the hang of watercolor paints - I love the depth! :)

Which one is your favorite?

#LoveMe Challenge // Share a Flaw

Share a flaw.....share a flaw.....How do I choose just one? I see so many flaws in myself, in so many areas.

Physically, mentally, personality....

I have very low, almost non-existent confidence. If I picked apart everything I hated, it would be every part of me. 

I feel really unintelligent. I didn't have a good education and I feel like a 5th grader. I love learning, I ranked quite high on the list even after I struggled. But still, I feel like when I talk or write that I just sound stupid. I feel like there's so much I don't know and I hate that.

And my personality....oh, my personality. Bipolar, extreme, violent rage, destructive nature, fearful of everything....I could go on and on.

Though somehow the more time passes, the more I think about it, the less bothered I am by these things. I've come to the point where I've accepted many of my flaws. A lot of physical traits don't bother me quite like they used to, or I've learned tricks to help (yay for beauty products). I realize being stupid isn't my fault. I'm from the ghetto, I'm lucky to not be stupider. I do love learning and I don't intent to have my intelligence limited forever. No, I'll never end up going back to school, but I do want to continue to learn and grow.

And my personality, well, it's me. I can improve, yeah, but I'm finally to a point where it just is what it is and I'm happy with that. I'm bipolar. There's no cure. And honestly, I see it more as a blessing. I see all the good that comes with being bipolar. People hear mental illness and shut down. But bipolar people are built for success. We have the perfect personalities to do anything we set our minds to. Sure I may feel more, deeper, more strongly...but I feel. I care. I have a heart. Which makes me extremely understanding, not judgmental, etc. I have learned suffering, so I can learn strength.

I guess at the end of the day, there is nothing so terribly wrong with me that I should beat myself up over. I can do more stuff to add confidence. I can accept things so they no longer bother me. 

I can love myself. Just as I am. Flaws, imperfections, all of it. I am me. And for the first time, I'm okay with that.
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